What is the opposite of a Green Thumb?

What is the opposite of a green thumb as I seem to fit that label in the past year?

No issues with the interior house updates to the homestead but the exterior updates have caution for pause. I have planted seven shrubs/trees and all are headed for the fire pit unfortunately. All had a 30 day warranty which I have an issue with as 30 days is not sufficient to see there is an issue with a shrub.

Trail Head

deer rub marks noted

one step closer to the Cleaver house

While I don't think I can ever get it to the point of perfection as they did, I had the front walkway to the house put in last week so I can be like the attached Cleaver home and have Harry the Milkman (or whatever his name was) drop off the goods each week on the front porch with June Cleaver greeting him each time with her hair to the nines and her PTA dress looking impeccable; all at 8 in the morning. Did Mrs. Cleaver ever own a pair of jeans, slacks or shorts? I honestly don't recall seeing any of those; always a dress. Too bad the show wasn't made in modern times on cable so Beaver could really get a tongue lashing from June after messing up yet again. "God dammit Beaver, when are you going to get your fu***** shi* together!." I'm going off on a June Cleaver topic but welcome to my home's new front door walkway.

Trail Head

Easter Egg hunt for the hunt-challenged

It appears that Easter has taken the "everyone gets a ribbon" path. The local Easter egg hunt took place yesterday and I want to call out one specific area of the flyer that indicates there would be over 3,000 eggs. Yes, over 3,000 eggs.

First of all, who is the poor sap that got designated with the chore of not only putting trinkets in over 3,000 plastic eggs but having to hide them all in a roughly 40 yard by 40 yard area? The city doesn't even have 3,000 people. That is positive reinforcement on steroids.

As far as the hunt itself, I dominated as those 2nd graders see a shiny object and have no focus whatsoever. 

Trail Head

One Year In - hits and misses

I've hit the one year mark for the northern experience. Some things I miss and don't miss with the move:

Miss:

Pizza. Besides friends and family (obviously), this is my only miss.  I've tried every place in town up here and the outskirts but haven't found anything even close to Buddy's. I might bring a pack of half-baked back my next trip downstate. 

Don't Miss:

Traffic. I grin each time when listening to downstate radio on the Internet and the traffic report comes on. 

Local news. The local news up north may be a bit on the minor league quality but love the non-robot/human element and crop reports are more enjoyable than a murder on 7 Mile.

Pace. Everything is slow/quiet and everyone (for the most part) courteous up north. I know it has to do with the terrain and the minimal population but enjoy it versus the sounds of traffic or the poor yelping dog left outside too long by the over-served/chain smoking grandma-neighbor out back of me when I was downstate.

Trail Head