Large Melon Thoughts

Since passed local sportswriter Joe Falls used to publish his 'random thoughts' column periodically.    I went from ranges of thinking the man was a genius to thinking he was the 'get off my lawn' guy and should be checked into the old folks home.

I am evolving into the 'get off my lawn' guy but in the meantime, here are some thoughts from a larger than normal melon:

The Idiocracy of the world is still evolving, this time in the form of our press.  The need to get the "first reported here" claim and worrying about the grammar (or the validity) later. The budget cuts apparently have removed the need for proof readers (or fact checkers). Just throw it out there. I am not perfect as I have my share of run on sentences on here from time to time but I used to hold the press to a higher standard. No more.    

THIS STORY HAS THE COACH GOING,
THEN STAYING PUT  - WHICH IS IT?

More Idiocracy, this time in the form of athletes getting interviewed after games with the very first thing out of their mouths being, "Like I said...."   You haven't said anything yet.  Another one I'm still scratching my head on is, "At the end of the day..."  At the end of the day, you'll still be a millionaire until about the age 40 and at that point, you'll be like the rest of us. Hopefully you studied during your one semester of college.

I've vented about it here before but sports franchises should be required to have a majority vote from their season ticket holders the previous year before deciding to change uniforms. You're fu**ing it all up.

uniform on the left please

Pre-sale concert tickets. Making the common Joe/Jolene sign up for a credit card (or join a club, load a phone app) so they can get in line first is crap. Just tell us when the tickets go on sale and let the fastest computer win (without the computer doing all the work obviously).  

pre-sale needed for Chicago and Rick Springfield, really?

Cubicle-less offices. This is the way with the modern office; my office is one of those.  This is where my 'get off my lawn' guy comes out as I hate it. I actually went to the lumber store and got a four foot plank and wedged it into my front view. I gave the guy in front of me the "it's not you, it's me" reply but even that doesn't shield me from the girl behind who has the voice from the little people on the Wizard of Oz singing, "We represent the lollipop kids..." I can take small doses of it but she is the main speaker of many, many conference calls.  To add to the fun, the manager on that side of the office has a high pitch laugh that would make any dog howl in agony. It's bad and he seems to laugh more than the normal human should. So yeah, not a big fan of the cubicle-less office.

I slipped on the ice in front of the Better Health store and found that ironic.

Bad radio jingles. I'm talking to you big fat Rich (never saw you but you sound fat) and Tanya.  Get that darn Kia commercial off the air please. It's making me hate the brand more than want to buy one.

I still get a laugh seeing a couple out but both looking at their cell phones the entire time. You might as well stay at home you crazy millennials. 

The wet pavement must be the orgasm of all orgasms for worms during a rainstorm as there are so many left to dry out afterwards rather than scramble back to the dirt.

For the guys only but why is it you can shake your post-pee all you want but if you have boxer shorts on, 9 times out of 10 you are going to get a post-pee dribble stain on said boxer shorts?

Trail Head

mechanically declined, but getting by

My truck battery gave me the "time to replace me" warning in recent weeks with ignition starts that sounded like the little train that was attempting to climb the hill with emphysema from too much smoking, but somehow made enough spark to get me on my way. Knock on wood but my past two trucks have never left me stranded. That is all I ask from a vehicle. 

Man card in hand, changing the battery would be a simple process I thought. Pull the existing battery and replace it with the newbie. Upon pulling up the hood for inspection of the current battery, I discovered a very large bar with an attachment below covering the current battery in addition to an electrical attachment covering everything. The manufacturer apparently likes to overcompensate for safety in this case along with making the common Joe go back to the dealer if they need their battery replaced. The auto part store where I purchased the new battery had a big banner advertising the fact that all new battery purchases were eligible for free installation* (*except my model).  I grimace each time giving hard earned money to the dealerships and would not be denied in this case.

It seemed too complicated upon first view but thankfully someone posted how to pull the bar and the attachment on the information superhighway. Bar/electrical attachment pulled, new battery installed and thank you Internet!

Trail Head

obstacles getting to the battery

Hall of Missing

Attached below are some views from a local website on their rankings of the top 50 boys basketball players in Oakland County over the past 50 years. Some notable names at the top of the list, however, my freshman basketball (and JV baseball) coach at high school, little did I know until later that he was point-wise darn close to the number two player on this list back in the day yet was only given secondary consideration in this list; but was mentioned. 

My high school created a hall of fame in 2004, had a whole bunch of classes inducted since but someone is missing. Arguably the best basketball player the school ever produced. This doesn't pass the smell test. Something stinks.

Trail Head

Bike Tour Book Review IV

Today brings us the fourth installment of the bike tour book review.

Vietnam - An Epic Tragedy 1945-1975

Everyone thinks of Vietnam as a late 1960's war but for 30 years the Vietnamese fought to make a country for their own. I was hoping to get some additional insight as to why the U.S. got involved but the book failed to supply that. It told the truth.  There was no threat of this small, beautiful country invading our homeland. They wanted a communist regime, have at it.  It wasn't hurting our side of the world. Yet our American egos thought we could take anyone down, anywhere.  We had no idea how jungle war would play out and that the north was not going to quit; ever. Mix that with the south Vietnamese having a government they had no faith in fighting for. It was a no win situation. Yet we still continued to send individuals over to fight. 

I love my country but if I was 18 in 1960-whatever and you sat me down with the information noted above, I would find whatever means to avoid fighting someone who is no threat to my homeland. The government would tire after the 10,000th time of me asking "Why?"

Great read.

Hillbilly Elegy

A non-fiction account of one person's view growing up in more or less, the sticks, and working his ass off to get out of said sticks.  People from his area weren't supposed to go to college, let alone an Ivy League school. He was the less than one percent that made it; with a few bumps along the way.

Relating to my grade school time, I'll put money there were some of my classmates that had some form of hillbilly upbringing and went home to something different than what I had. I wasn't richy rich but never thought twice about missing meals or having the heat off at home; they were constants for me and not sure others had the same. I never thought twice about it at the time as if you could play kickball worth anything, talk about meals or lack of heat never came up. 

Striking Back - The 1972 Munich Olympic Massacre and Israel's Deadly Response

It's never over. That pretty much sums up the book. Those that were behind the terror paid, even if it took the locals their entire lives to do it. A more fact-based account (a shi* load of research) of the massacre versus the Hollywood puffed up version, 'Munich'. 

Greg Giraldo - A Comedian's Story

The story similar to many other comedians on the road.  Searching for the next bit, drugs/booze, loneliness, repeat.  

Then death unfortunately in his case. He was one of the best roast comedians. Always prepared.  Do a search on the person and you'll find some of the funniest roast lines. 

Feeling Well

Next year will be my 30th with my employer and I'm here to tell you things have changed since the 1990 work experience.  

Case in point of my recent discovery of a 'wellness' room on my floor. As we don't have any nursing mothers on the floor, it's a room for stress relief or nursing a post thirsty Thursday dehydration bout.  Pictured below is the room. I think it needs a couch versus a chair. Walking back out on the floor with pillow hair wouldn't be a good look though so the chair will do. We have been in our current building since 2015 and if it wasn't for a recent e-mail from one of the assistants advising that the room needed to be reserved for use (as too many were abusing their privileges), I would think nothing of that room by the color copier even serving a purpose. I didn't know it existed. I'm too busy making color copies of mountain bike maps to worry about being well I guess.

All kidding aside, it's a great idea as when I started working here in 1990, the wellness room consisted of the lunchroom where inside smoking was still allowed so the second hand smoke made you feel....well. 

Trail Head 

the 'lounge'

wellness fridge - don't even think about
putting your tuna salad in there

Global Fat Bike Day (and who is the 'Oz' making up these days?)

A perfect environment for early December mountain bike riding in Michigan as while the temperature was below freezing, there was no wind so the Global Fat Bike Day locally at Island Lake Recreation Area was a treat this morning. Nephew Jackson rode along and respected his elders in waiting up for me along the trail. 

My quandary is who is the person behind the curtain making up these 'days'?  Global Fat Bike day. National cookie day. National burger day. National taco day. National spaghetti day. National milk day is January 11th if you need to set the reminder on your idiot phone.

No mas.

Trail Head

urban rider Jackson 

Good Dog

Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care but the attached video will draw a few hold backs on the tears for those that dare to tease me. I ragged on the attached player (and team) quite a bit over the past couple of years but losing both mom and dad while going to school over a thousand miles away from home and not quitting is quite an accomplishment in perseverance. It makes the crappy play of my alma mater a little less important. Love those dogs.

Trail Head