Santa Delivers

You ask (and are a good person) and Santa delivers. I asked for a day on the trails to myself and pictured is my ride at the Island Lake Recreation Area trailhead a little after eight this morning. Thank you Santa and happy holidays to all!

Trail Head

Spam Exam - opt out blues

This Internet and electronic e-mail thing is great and everything but since the advent of it, we had to take along the ugly stepchild; spam e-mail. My one e-mail address seems to be a spider web in a spider village of many in collecting junk from anyone and everyone. Attempts to opt out of each are a journey to nowhere as half the time the opt out e-mail comes back un-deliverable. I am not even a political person but somehow got linked to a mass of tea party e-mails recently that got coded as non-spam and you couldn't move them to the junk folder. One site had two opt out links and I chose the wrong one of course. Thankfully my virus protector caught it and gave me the "danger, Will Robinson!" alert.      

Below we have Mrs Giamma advising that I just might be a millionaire and Wilhelm (sounds like a good dog name) advising about some information regarding Eric. Sorry Wilhelm, I'm probably not going to see it.

Not to be outdone, we have the e-mail everyone is looking to get, Publishers Clearing...something advising, no, congratulating me that my e-mail was drawn for winning....a possible virus!!! They are so good with the word placement on these. You bet uneducated Jim Bob is going to open that and click every link possible to uncover the millions! 

And below my winning e-mail, Adrian is apparently trying to reach me. Yo Adrian, I don't know anyone by that name so sorry. 

To A A G, I have no mortgage needs right now (thankfully). 

To the post office, I have no interest in any partnership, especially with someone named Mr. George Williams Mudonille. That is one pompous name.

And spam e-mail wouldn't be complete without a chance at a Ukrainian mail order bride...

To AKDKTK KAKuKtKh (lacking some vowels there AKDKTK), I have nothing of worth in my house so no free quotes needed. 

To US Debt Settle, I thankfully have no debt to settle.

To LCiCpCoCsCuCctio, if I could arrange to have some weight put back ON me as opposed to sucking it out this winter, that would be ideal.

The whole browsing in 'incognito/inprivate' mode is a sham as well. Case in point with the below batch of Keto diet spam e-mails I received shortly after doing some searching on the subject (searched, no e-mail entered on my end). 

As with the crap mail (actual mail) of shopping flyers that has existed longer than my half century  of existence with no escape besides getting a post office box, I am guessing we are stuck with the electronic version as well.

Spam, spam, spam....

Trail Head

Opposite of Murphy's Law

"Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong" is the premise behind Murphy's Law. I have no idea who Murphy is but I seem to be on a nice run of the opposite of said law as the better half and I hit Chicago this past weekend via train. We had seats with extra leg room with no train delays either way, VERY early check-in at the hotel, a great lunch recommendation from the hotel while being able to catch the end of the State hoop game at said lunch, front row for an afternoon Second City show (funny show), a great dinner recommendation from the hotel (with no food poisoning!) and back on the train Sunday morning with the same great seats we had coming into town. I'm exaggerating but it seemed every downtown crosswalk on Saturday was green; just had the mojo going.   

For the many, many times I've been on Murphy's side, it's nice to be on the other once in a while.  

Trail Head

 

In the holiday spirit, I had my first ever Wayne County Lightfest experience last week as well. I would like to see it again via bicycle so there is no feeling hurried from the vehicles behind you. It was exciting in the truck though getting dumped out after the tour around Warren and Outer Drive. No return driving allowed on Hines Drive after the tour so lock your doors kids. 

Greeting Cards of Holiday Past

The calendar unofficially turned to the holiday season this weekend. With that, time to dust off the lights, tree, manger scene (have one) and other various trinkets from the closet for the 30 days (or 90 in the case of some of my neighbors) of decorating the property in celebration of xmas/new year's. 

The season also brings about the process of sending holiday cards to friends and family. Yes, I send them out. It all started for me in the early 2000's as my dog Angus was my poser for said cards and a fine poser he was! Whether he was singing 'fa-la-la-la' (he was actually yawning) or throwing a smile out with the Seadog eye patch on, he was a natural. Once Angus moved on, I had to go out of the box a bit for card ideas but had quite a bit of older pictures at my disposal along with a creative  (warped?) sense of humor/imagination. Below are some I've sent.    

I buy a pack of 20 cards/pictures each year and I'll bet probably 15 of those go directly from mailbox to recycle bin for the recipients but for those five individuals that maybe had a bad day and my card gave them at least a grin, the process is all worth it.

For the 20 individuals, this year's card is currently in the editing room so stay tuned.

Trail Head

fa-la-la-la-la

Seadog xmas

Tim has blessed you this holiday season

happy holidays from the Mother Cup champions

all aboard for INSERT YEAR

heads up INSERT YEAR, here I come

mullet xmas

wishing you the very best lovin' in INSERT YEAR

Paws wishes you a great holiday

have a ball in INSERT YEAR

wishing you the best information in INSERT YEAR

Carolina Pedal

The tour headed south this past weekend into North Carolina to pedal two virgin locations for me: DuPont State Forest and Pisgah National Forest. I am fortunate to have today off as this rider is one sore individual. The views at the top are gorgeous but there is no chair lift to pull the rider up to said top so the first portion of each ride is spent in grandma gear slowing plodding up the hills/mountains for the ridge ride down. To add to the fun, I took a nice spill Saturday morning over the handlebars. The attached six minute video has a clip from that (at about 1:48 in) in addition to a SERIOUS creek/river crossing in DuPont (at about 2:59 in). The weather was blue skies when I was there but the preceding week brought about some serious rain so the water level was very high. A usual ankle deep crossing with a current trickling became a knee deep hoof with your bike over your head or it was going down the river if it touched the water. I saw one rider attempt the barefoot walk across with his shoes in hand and one shoe went down the river; never to be seen again. He still had five miles or so back to the parking lot....with one shoe. I personally did the 'shoes on' attempt as I was riding in my hiking boots; not clip-on shoes with plastic bottoms. With a little help from some riders on the other side, I successfully made it across. A rider later in the journey advised the best tactic for walking across slippery rocks in a river is with no shoes but keeping the socks on. So there you go in that you learned something reading this today.

As far as local flavor, I stayed in the city of Brevard, North Carolina. Known for white squirrels (looked it up beforehand) and I did indeed see said white squirrels roaming in abundance. Some good people in the area and had a delicious chicken dinner on my birthday. The nearest celebrity in the area according to the locals is apparently Steve Martin as I believe his wife has ties to the area. 

Scrapes and sore muscles/joints aside (waaa.....), a nice soul cleansing experience in western Carolina. 

Trail Head

DuPont State Forest

Pisgah National Forest

Pisgah National Forest

I didn't get towed but this sign
in Brevard, NC made me laugh.

Brevard, NC

Journey of Life - people impact

I'm not a church going person as my religion is being good to your fellow brother/sister and don't feed any b.s. my way as I don't have time for it. A simple faith I have. A higher being, maybe, but whomever it is that is pulling all the levers seems to bring people into my life for a reason it seems. Some short blurbs on the missionaries who have made my life a bit more full.
Starting with the sport that I love playing the most, basketball, it wasn't always that way. I was a 5th grader trying to figure out what to do with my recess playing prowess on the slaughter ball court when basketball coach Mr. Farnum went through one of my classmates to ask why this scribe wasn't playing basketball and more or less demanded I make it out to the next practice. I went and found out I had something there and developed an addiction for seeing that leather ball swish through the net.
Basketball involves a lot of sweating and with sweating comes sweaty (and stinky) clothes. Early on in my bachelorhood I utilized the dryer sheets to combat said sweat/stink until an individual showed me the wonders of liquid fabric softener. Laugh all you want on that one but getting the post workout aroma out with dryer sheets just didn't cut it; and  made marks on your clothes. It's a job for Ultra Downy Infusions!!! Yes, that doesn't sound too masculine giving a shout out to fabric softener but been doing laundry for the duration and good smelling clothes rule. 

While recycling or any environment-related concerns weren't on my mind growing up, an individual who was born on April 22nd (Earth Day) showed me more about the environment and the world of organic food than I had ever known. While the organic food angle was short lived as paying $15 for ONE organic chicken breast wasn't going to cut it, her Earth passion was quite impressive as she earned the title of Earth Girl. If looks could kill, I was dead that day she saw me throw a glass spaghetti sauce jar into the 'normal' trash can. 

Sometime after that an individual enlightened me on some of the newer music available as I was hard-headed on my classic rock; no other alternatives. That all changed once I heard some Detroit Cobras, Raconteurs, Wolfmother and others in the early 2000's. Not Zeppelin but rockin' still the same.
While impacting my house more than me (but gives me peace of mind), I would be remiss for not calling out my Milford Redskin alumni that I met along the way for supplying me with a roofer, a painter, a heating/cooling expert, window distributor, a floor/deck/miscellaneous handyman and a plumber. If I can find an electrician, the set will be complete. Knock on wood in that my house hasn't had issues but general upkeep is needed and peace of mind is achieved in calling someone you know. I leave the house door open for them to work while I'm downtown doing my work. A win win for everyone in that I don't have to babysit them working and they can work without someone looking over their shoulder.    

And in recent years with my old man's memory illness kicking it in high gear, I had never thought about the diet and brain combination but mountain biked with an individual whose area was supplements/diet. She supplied information on supplements available and a link regarding the Keto Diet; a brain-friendly diet.

Not to be outdone in the brain category, a few weeks ago I mountain biked on the east side with an individual and fate would have it that she recently read a book called 'Grain Brain.' One doctor's opinion, with a shit load of stats to back it up, on the effects of bread (and other things) on the brain. I ended up buying the book. Information is a good thing and I have plenty of reading time on the bus. It was stat overload but his point was made. And I'll put money on it that there is another book out there on the advantages of eating bread/sugar on the brain with plenty of stats as well.   

Again, it is wacky the people you meet along the journey and the information/service they provided; even fabric softener! The person pulling all the levers sure has put people in my life at just about the right time. I'm so very lucky.

But back to the Keto Diet and the Grain Brain book, the two go hand in hand as the book references Keto quite a bit. As I can't gain weight if I wanted to these days, the word 'diet' brings me pause with some comments below on the things I can/can't eat. I can't go full Keto but guess you can say I'm going mini-Keto.

Breakfast used to consist of toast w/peanut butter and bananas. Three salt bagels on Thursdays. The toast/peanut butter angle is gone, replaced with two eggs, eaten Rocky style. Yes, raw. I only like eggs as a part of french toast but bread is out so chasing two raw eggs down with a Vitamin Water will have to suffice. The first time was tough (eggs back up EVERYWHERE) but down to a smooth process now. The salt bagels are gone. Captain Crunch and his friends Tony The Tiger and Sugar Bear are also gone. That is a tough one.  

Lunch won't change much as I was already nibbling on raw green beans, cucumbers, green peppers, oranges, apples. Pretzels were surprisingly forbidden. No more chips, etc.. No peanuts but almonds/sunflower seeds are the snacks now. My monthly visit to Lafayette Coney for 'three with everything' might have to be moved to every other month. They are quite good.  

Dinner will be interesting as while I haven't touched fast food in many, many years, I like my pizza. That will be my one major rule break as I attempted the gluten free pizza last week and it was like a sponge. Bad. The 'no pasta' rule will also be broken from time to time as while I love my chicken, a person can only eat so much of it. My apologies go out to the Highland House as your bread sticks are out; but damn are they good.  

My apologies also go out to DQ as a large blizzard with double Heath bar toppings that was a nice post workout staple has also been shown the door. 

I left out the grain that probably has the most brain impact, beer. About beer...

Mountain Biking - come a long way

In celebration of the unofficial last mountain bike race of the year, the Iceman (rode it last year, two hours of "on your left" was enough for me; one and done), we go back to 1994 when this mountain bike thing was gaining steam. To prove how much steam, I dusted off my coffee table book, Trail Atlas of Michigan (print date 1994) and spot checked what was available that year versus the trails currently in use in the metro Detroit area. Of the 33 trails available today in the area, only 13 formally existed in 1994; some in very different shape as well. To the many who have worked on creating the 20 other trails since then, thank you!

Trail Head

• Hickory Glen Park (Commerce Township) - not listed
• Highland Recreation Area (Highland Township) - listed with a note that formal mountain bike trails are in the planning stages
• Hines Park (Plymouth Township) - listed but no biking references
• Island Lake Recreation Area (Brighton) - listed
• Kensington to Proud Lake Connector (Milford Township) - not listed
• Lakeshore Park (Novi) - not listed
• Maybury State Park (Northville) - listed; trail built in '94
• Milford Trail (Milford) - not listed
• Munson Park (Monroe) - not listed
• Proud Lake Recreation Area (Commerce Township) - listed
• Rouge Park (Detroit) - not listed
• Brighton (Brighton) - listed but nothing close to the 16+ miles available today
• DTE Energy Foundation Trail (Chelsea) - Waterloo Rec Area listing only references walking trails
• Heritage Park (Adrian) - not listed
• Hewen’s Creek (Ypsilanti) - not listed
• Morton – Taylor (Canton) - not listed
• Olson Park (Ann Arbor) - not listed
• Potawatomi (Pinckney) - listed
• Rolling Hills (Ypsilanti) - listed but no bike references
• Sharon Mills (Manchester) - not listed
• Addison Oaks County Park (Leonard) - listed
• Bald Mountain Recreation Area (Lake Orion) - listed
• Bloomer Park (Rochester Hills) - listed
• Clinton River Park Trails (Sterling Heights) - not listed
• Holly-Holdridge Mountain Bike Trail (Holly) - listed with trails under construction
• Holly High School (Holly) - not listed
• Orion Oaks County Park (Lake Orion) - listed but no bike references
• Ortonville Recreation Area (Ortonville) - listed
• Pontiac Lake Recreation Area (Waterford) - listed
• River Bends Park (Shelby Township) - not listed
• Ruby Campground (Avoca) - not listed
• Seven Lakes State Park (Holly) - listed
• Stony Creek Metropark (Shelby Township) - listed but it has a reference that specifically calls out not having mountain bike trails

Prior to the creation of the trails on the west side of Duck Lake Rd,
we had to battle the horse poop to ride.

The park now has 16+ miles of trail.

Ale Thoughts - Choice Overload

I was in Charlotte, NC this past week for work and a post work walk back to my hotel brought me to a few locations that had more beer choices than humanly possible. A four page book at one stop. It gives the places a nice "over 100 beers on tap" label but the bartenders tell me that maybe a quarter of the choices get used with the others getting put in the 'special' category in hopes to move them with a discount. It got my large melon to delve into the many, many, many beer selections out there; while of course enjoying a cold one while I delved. I personally enjoy a Fat Tire on draft and a Bud if we are going can. And don't even think about sending a light beer my way. Seriously though, there are only so many variations of beer possible if you leave out the fruit/funky mixtures; yet so many are attempting to make the next 'new' ale. Many attempts at the IPA were on display which I personally believe the 'P' stands for piss-water as they all go down bad. Fruit and beer mixtures are almost reincarnating the wine cooler with a beer label; if that makes sense. I don't want to harp on the entrepreneurs or the beer snobs but the game of beer musical chairs is on and there isn't even close to enough chairs. It is a crowded room and might want to keep your hobby in the garage with beer festival appearances (love a good beer festival) and not give up that day job just yet. 

Trail Head

Best (powderpuff) Football Team Ever

In the spirit of autumn and homecoming, we go back 35 years ago this month (been around awhile) that the best collection of powderpuff football players were assembled at Milford High. It was "flag football" in print but there was some intense football from the female side going on; so much they stopped playing it after the game of the century in 1983. Coaching the dream team was yours truly, Gus and Rob. I'm going off of memory on this but don't think we had more than two practices in preparation for the showdown. We took down the sophomores and the seniors took down the freshmen in the qualifying games which led to the super showdown. 

I give the coaching accolades to Rob as he had a simple game plan; give the ball to Dana McD and EVERYONE sweep left or right with a pass or reverse being the only other plays. Get in the way of the others in grabbing the flag with pushing and shoving encouraged. In others words, keep it simple. The juniors we were coaching adopted the team name of B.A.B. (bad ass bitches) and our offensive and defensive lines were just that. These ladies pushed some people out of the way. There was pride on the line and with that, some serious collisions with no pads in place. The seniors were so jealous of the thrashing going on and wouldn't be outdone in the championship game as they taped E.B.B. (even badder bitches) on their jerseys. This scribe won't comment on the holding that took place to prevent the dream team from winning the fictitious world championship Redskin Powderpuff trophy but will always know who was the better team.

Trail Head

Best No Solicitor Sign Ever - Ode to Cosmo

While I have a simple 'NO SOLICITORS' sign on my front door, my mom has taken the process of advising said solicitors that she means it up a notch by the attached sign on her front porch. I especially like the "SHIT WILL GET REAL" notation as I don't think I've ever heard those words from her mouth and visualizing her saying it makes me laugh as she is not one to ever cuss. 

And I would be remiss to not advise of the crazy dog (singular) that will most definitely be barking and yes, everyone will get annoyed. The crazy dog that will be barking regardless if you knock or ring the door bell (the barking will start when you pull in the driveway) is none other than the one foot high by two foot long ball of fur named 'Cosmo'. A rescue dog that my mom has had for about a decade now. Cosmo LOVES my mom but has a bi-polar thing for everyone else. He'll jump in your lap and be a happy dog but as you walk away, he'll dig those tiny, yet VERY sharp, teeth into your ankle. My mom has tried every type of treatment known to man to try and correct it but we've just come to the point of being okay with wearing shoes in the house and watching for the fur ball as you walk away.

Good dog.

Trail Head 

Way Back Machine - History of Making a Buck

It was 28 years ago today that I was getting ready to start working for my current employer on October 1st, 1990. The Lions probably lost that day as well. Looking back at my vast (VERY vast) history of tasks I did to make a buck, go figure in that I've lasted 28 years with the same company. With that, we queue the way back machine to 1980-something for a tour of my buck retrieving tasks:

allowance

Everyone's job history starts with the allowance. Your parents assigned tasks and you got X amount of dollars each week. My sis, bro and I sucked down soda pops like you have never seen back in the day so that was pretty much our payment. We drank; we drank a lot.  We seriously had a soda pop allocation. I was a crappy lawn cutter to boot. 

baling hay

Working for friend Jim's dad Del, one of the toughest jobs I've ever had but sure built some character and work ethic. It's 90 degrees (110 slinging bales in the top of the barn) but you can't wear shorts or a tank top as the hay bales will seriously scratch your skin. With that, you have jeans and a long sleeve shirt and are sweating like you've never sweated before. But at 14-16 years old, we were the energizer bunnies before the phrase even existed. The bonus of the job is Jim's mom Arlene can cook up some outstanding grub so we had that going for us. 

Big Boy 

The first job where I received a formal paycheck but wasn't even making minimum wage (serious). The bus boy/dishwasher is a thankless job and there are some serious pigs out there that you unfortunately have to clean up after. Needless to say, I don't think I lasted a month before I went to a different job that was equally crap.

McDonalds

Milford High classmate Randy G. talked me into this one as he worked there. Randy hopefully is in sales today as he somehow sold me on the satisfaction of flipping burgers. There was no satisfaction as standing in front of an extremely hot grill for four hours sucked ass. In addition, I was being told to 'pick it up' by another classmate that I had no respect for. Another classmate, Joe H., somehow crossed paths with me one day and fate would have it that he was leaving his job and asked if I'd be interested. Which leads us to the next job; my job of all jobs. 

Kensington golf course

Xanadu. The best job ever. I was a golf course ranger. The main task obviously is to make sure the foursome on the back nine are not lollygagging. Golfers start early so I was out there by 6 AM doing a loop around the course, filling up ball washers, changing ball washer towels and admiring the many deer hanging out. The day would end with the very difficult chore (insert sarcasm) of vacuuming the clubhouse where hot dogs were free for me (along with the golf) and the girls working the clubhouse grill were not too bad on the eyes. 

Botsford Inn

I went to MSU initially for the hotel/restaurant program and working at a respected hotel went hand in hand with that vision. I worked all aspects of the hotel/banquet scene. After the summer was over I decided that the hotel/restaurant world wasn't for me. Some great people there though.

political surveys

College jobs. There were many. I didn't work when I went to CMU but this was my first at State. I hate any calls for solicitors and these were the worst. The office was in downtown Lansing and you had a script you had to complete to consider the call successful so you talked as fast as possible before the person on the other end hung up. I was calling people in Pennsylvania asking for their viewpoints on candidates that I had no idea who they were. 

plasma donations

Yep, my plasma was donated extensively in East Lansing. There was a clinic right in town and gave you $25 a week for donating. You brought your school books and did some reading while they were extracting. Back in the day, $25 could be stretched quite extensively if you worked the $1 pitcher special nights at various locations. Not going to happen today with the $7 pints as being a 'special'.

old lady chores

I worked for an elderly lady in East Lansing for a couple months who somehow found something for me to do each day. No, I did not do what you are thinking you dirty mind.

Country Market

Bagging groceries and sorting bottle returns. The owner Charlie was a great person but his head manager Frank lacked some people skills (never missed a meal though; he was huge). I think I lasted two months there with bagging groceries for MSU football great Lorenzo White as my highlight with a home run for the Country Market softball team a close second (first at bat to boot). 

landscaping 

I finally found my lawn cutting skill working for a family business out of Okemos that did lawn cutting and lawn seeding prep for the many homes being built in the area. A good job in that I got to work on my tan but the drawback is the owner paid once a month. Give a college kid X amount of dollars once a month and how long do you think it will last? Not very long for this scribe.

dorm cleaning

Summer school money. Not too glamorous throwing down some serious chemicals trying to de-funk the mojo the students left behind in the dorm showers from the past year. 

selling college books

Found money. There is no better feeling once that last final exam was done and your 3 pound biology book brought in $30. No peanut butter sandwiches and Busch beer tonight. We're going with Budweiser and Westside Deli slices!!

Financial Services of America

After trying to get my foot into the advertising world that my undergraduate degree emphasized (and not getting anything), I interviewed and received a position working here. My shortest employment of one day as the head guy seemed shady (and ended up getting busted for his shadiness).

Action Auto Rental

The niche of the company (that I don't think is in business anymore) was that the rental car was delivered to your home or business. The employee drove the rental car while towing a GEO Metro behind it. You deliver the rental car to the customer, unhook the Metro and drive it away. The manager in the area had a habit of calling everyone 'bud' so he lost me quite quickly there. My highlight was during rush hour one hot summer afternoon, I managed to flip two cars at one time. I hit the brakes on the rental car I was driving pretty hard and the Metro that I was towing swung around and pulled both cars over. Good times. Yep, didn't last too long there. 

parade company

Thanks to my sister for this one as while a seasonal job, what a great group of people. Mechanically declined Tim got to help build the floats for the annual Detroit Thanksgiving parade. Pretty cool seeing something you help build appear on television. 

So to my friends out there who have kids just out of college and are starting to jump into the post college working world, patience. 

Trail Head