Large Melon Thoughts

Since passed local sportswriter Joe Falls used to publish his 'random thoughts' column periodically.    I went from ranges of thinking the man was a genius to thinking he was the 'get off my lawn' guy and should be checked into the old folks home.

I am evolving into the 'get off my lawn' guy but in the meantime, here are some thoughts from a larger than normal melon:

The Idiocracy of the world is still evolving, this time in the form of our press.  The need to get the "first reported here" claim and worrying about the grammar (or the validity) later. The budget cuts apparently have removed the need for proof readers (or fact checkers). Just throw it out there. I am not perfect as I have my share of run on sentences on here from time to time but I used to hold the press to a higher standard. No more.    

THIS STORY HAS THE COACH GOING,
THEN STAYING PUT  - WHICH IS IT?

More Idiocracy, this time in the form of athletes getting interviewed after games with the very first thing out of their mouths being, "Like I said...."   You haven't said anything yet.  Another one I'm still scratching my head on is, "At the end of the day..."  At the end of the day, you'll still be a millionaire until about the age 40 and at that point, you'll be like the rest of us. Hopefully you studied during your one semester of college.

I've vented about it here before but sports franchises should be required to have a majority vote from their season ticket holders the previous year before deciding to change uniforms. You're fu**ing it all up.

uniform on the left please

Pre-sale concert tickets. Making the common Joe/Jolene sign up for a credit card (or join a club, load a phone app) so they can get in line first is crap. Just tell us when the tickets go on sale and let the fastest computer win (without the computer doing all the work obviously).  

pre-sale needed for Chicago and Rick Springfield, really?

Cubicle-less offices. This is the way with the modern office; my office is one of those.  This is where my 'get off my lawn' guy comes out as I hate it. I actually went to the lumber store and got a four foot plank and wedged it into my front view. I gave the guy in front of me the "it's not you, it's me" reply but even that doesn't shield me from the girl behind who has the voice from the little people on the Wizard of Oz singing, "We represent the lollipop kids..." I can take small doses of it but she is the main speaker of many, many conference calls.  To add to the fun, the manager on that side of the office has a high pitch laugh that would make any dog howl in agony. It's bad and he seems to laugh more than the normal human should. So yeah, not a big fan of the cubicle-less office.

I slipped on the ice in front of the Better Health store and found that ironic.

Bad radio jingles. I'm talking to you big fat Rich (never saw you but you sound fat) and Tanya.  Get that darn Kia commercial off the air please. It's making me hate the brand more than want to buy one.

I still get a laugh seeing a couple out but both looking at their cell phones the entire time. You might as well stay at home you crazy millennials. 

The wet pavement must be the orgasm of all orgasms for worms during a rainstorm as there are so many left to dry out afterwards rather than scramble back to the dirt.

For the guys only but why is it you can shake your post-pee all you want but if you have boxer shorts on, 9 times out of 10 you are going to get a post-pee dribble stain on said boxer shorts?

Trail Head

mechanically declined, but getting by

My truck battery gave me the "time to replace me" warning in recent weeks with ignition starts that sounded like the little train that was attempting to climb the hill with emphysema from too much smoking, but somehow made enough spark to get me on my way. Knock on wood but my past two trucks have never left me stranded. That is all I ask from a vehicle. 

Man card in hand, changing the battery would be a simple process I thought. Pull the existing battery and replace it with the newbie. Upon pulling up the hood for inspection of the current battery, I discovered a very large bar with an attachment below covering the current battery in addition to an electrical attachment covering everything. The manufacturer apparently likes to overcompensate for safety in this case along with making the common Joe go back to the dealer if they need their battery replaced. The auto part store where I purchased the new battery had a big banner advertising the fact that all new battery purchases were eligible for free installation* (*except my model).  I grimace each time giving hard earned money to the dealerships and would not be denied in this case.

It seemed too complicated upon first view but thankfully someone posted how to pull the bar and the attachment on the information superhighway. Bar/electrical attachment pulled, new battery installed and thank you Internet!

Trail Head

obstacles getting to the battery

Hall of Missing

Attached below are some views from a local website on their rankings of the top 50 boys basketball players in Oakland County over the past 50 years. Some notable names at the top of the list, however, my freshman basketball (and JV baseball) coach at high school, little did I know until later that he was point-wise darn close to the number two player on this list back in the day yet was only given secondary consideration in this list; but was mentioned. 

My high school created a hall of fame in 2004, had a whole bunch of classes inducted since but someone is missing. Arguably the best basketball player the school ever produced. This doesn't pass the smell test. Something stinks.

Trail Head