My Beef (one of a handful)

A sports radio talk show out of Detroit used to have a weekly segment for fans to call in and give their 'beef' with anything that's on their mind.

Some links below from their "What's your beef?" segment:

https://www.cbsnews.com/detroit/news/whats-my-beef-week-7/

https://www.cbsnews.com/detroit/news/whats-my-beef-week-18/

https://www.cbsnews.com/detroit/news/whats-my-beef-week-21/

My latest beef is with canisters with powdered drink solutions in them. The views below are when I opened each. Both aren't even 3/4 full. Fill it to the brim please!

Some other recent beefs revolving in my large melon:

People that film concerts with their cell phones. You're there, watch the show as the video will be forgotten next week (and will have my voice yelling at you in the background instead of the band playing). Watching the show here and now will be much more rewarding.

Spam e-mails. I wonder who is the creator of these and where they are sending them from. Is it their primary job? What pleasure do they get corrupting someone's computer that they don't know?  I am naive to think that everyone ignores them but with idiocracy alive and well, I'll bet there are some who treat them as legitimate e-mails and click away on the links.

Social media addicts with filtered pictures (and social media in general). First of all, get some real friends outside of your computer screen and the filtered picture isn't going to help when people see you in person. "Why do you look different?" will be the topic of conversation when they do.

In the spirit of the NFL draft this weekend in the D, mock drafts eight months ahead of the actual draft. I know it gets the "clicks" that online publications love to get but most aren't even close. I recall a few years back in a "way too early" mock draft, the "experts" were calling Michigan quarterback Shea Patterson a first round pick, possibly top 10. He didn't even get drafted.

While on the topic of sports, I'm all for college players not being held hostage at a school when things don't work out for whatever reason but the transfer portal has become a joke. A little less than 2% of college players will suit up in the NFL (I looked it up) so Player A who transfers after he didn't get enough playing time in the spring game goes to another school, probably dropping out in the middle of the current semester, losing any course credit there and probably not going to class at the new school until the summer, possibly the fall. Those 98 percentiles are going to eventually have to get a non-NFL job and those 12 credits accumulated over four years aren't going to help the process. 

It's all about me but the pre-season college football magazines that come out in the upcoming weeks that I love to read are now going to have put disclaimers on their reviews, such as "prediction is based on Player A and Player B still playing for the team in the fall."

Trail Head

Rehab With a View

Father Time brought me in for another round of rehab as the hips I've learned have arthritis and my  prostate body part has me heading to the john a handful of times each night (I didn't think it was possible to pee that much). While the prostate is being handled with some pills, physical therapy called for the hips, again. I had physical therapy on them about a decade ago and was usually able to get by with some stretching since but they've had their own heartbeat at night lately with the throbbing so off to the local therapist I went. 

Physical therapy around here is handled at the local hospital which resides on a hill overlooking Lake Michigan. The physical therapy equipment is what you'd see in any other location with the rubber balls, stretch bands, mini-stairs and a handful of beds but what a view! While the therapist is pushing you to do one more set of excruciating exercises, you look out at endless blue waters in one window and the Elberta Dunes in another. A good example of pain and pleasure.

Trail Head

Way Back Machine - throwing marbles

The way back machine takes us back to the 70’s this week to the time when marbles, specifically marble throwing, was the thing to do at Spring Mills Elementary school. There was no social media. Yay!!!! I don’t believe anyone partakes in the activity anymore and not sure who started it but it had its day in the sun for me in between slaughter ball/war and kick ball games. I’m going off my pea brain memory on how it all came down and even if we were playing the official rules but here is what I recall.

You had your basic, small size marble with some labeled “cat’s eyes” that were clear and had some form of object in them. The small marbles were more or less the peasants in the marble world, the pennies in a sea of coins. I can’t remember what we called the larger marbles but they were the envy of any marble collection. Lastly, there were ‘steelies’ which weren’t really marbles; they were ball bearings from someone’s dad who worked at a tool & die-type factory but in high demand within the marble throwing world.

I don’t know if everyone played this way but the premise of our version of marbles was one person threw their marble out there (can’t remember who had to throw first) and if the other person hit the other marble with theirs in the air, the marble that was hit was theirs. It was key to make sure your initial throw had some force behind it as if you missed, the other person got to shoot at your marble from wherever your attempt landed.  If it was a large marble versus a small marble, the small marble had to hit the large marble more than once (the large marble owner would place the count needed) for ownership of said large marble. One kid had a HUGE steelie (larger than a large marble) and would ask for something like 20 hits for ownership of it. The thing was so big that if you hit it a couple of times, your marble would shatter and the game was over for the little guy.

I recall being pretty good, not great, at the craft as I had my share of large marbles but no huge steelies. I think my collection is buried deep within a city dump somewhere today but a fun time it was.

Trail Head

More Idiocracy - Advertising Overkill

Referenced on here before, the 2006 movie Idiocracy, the story of how the world several years from now will be, is again proving true. This time in the form of advertising. One scene has a character in the movie watching the show, "Ow! My Balls" as the 150 inch television screen is surrounded by a ads.

Advertising was my major in college and thankfully not the profession my career evolved into as I have to use my Atari abilities from the 80's these days viewing anything online with so many ads thrown at me to shoot down with my joystick/mouse. I understand the rationale as the bills need to be paid but wish there was a better way. At least in newspapers (the paper kind), the ads weren't jumping out blaring a horribly bad jingle with nothing of importance to me. You read the articles within the paper and turned to the next page when a full page of car ads was presented. I enjoy reading the newspaper (the paper kind) at the local diner for breakfast but recently went to purchase one and the Detroit daily version (non-Sunday) cost $3.50. With that, sadly newspapers are becoming the dinosaurs of the millennium.

If newspapers/magazines (and the people working for them) could speak, I think their primary statement would be, "Ow, my balls!"

Trail Head

Breakwall Fishing and bathroom protests

Pictured in the attached are not tourists looking for that social media picture to share with their internet friends or protesters to the new beach bathroom being proposed (https://www.recordpatriot.com/news/article/northern-michigan-town-faces-beach-bathroom-18693930.php) but fisherman looking for the big one off of the big lake breakwall. A virgin to the process, I gave it a try yesterday without success but witnessed a few conquests by others and got a few tips observing. I hope to have some breakwall fish views to share in the future; along with what will probably still be bathroom protests.

Trail Head

The Luckiest Guy in the World

There was recently a documentary on television about a former NBA player who was portrayed as the luckiest guy in the world. As a sports junkie, I had to give a view and came to the conclusion that yours truly might be even luckier.

First and foremost, I was fortunate to be born in America and not some third-world country. We have no say in the matter of where we are born so I don't put any ill will towards others from different upbringings/locations/nationalities, unless they are stupid/do stupid things. They didn't ask for it; this is the life they were dealt and I got lucky for the most part.

I was brought up by loving parents who taught me the right and wrong of life. If a spanking/slap in the head was completed, it was justified as I did some stupid things along with being a crybaby in my youth.

I have been blessed with a great group of friends. Not Internet friends. REAL friends, most of whom I've known since the teen years. And sorry, as the Seinfeld bit goes, I'm not taking applications right now for any new ones. Good with what I have.

My adolescent years were spent in a town where the local police (in most cases) more or less would shoo you away like a stray dog when you were doing wrong.

I have a big head, literally, as I knew it was large looking in the mirror each day and can't get a ball cap to fit me (one size does not fit all).  I got my picture taken at the Secretary of State the other day for my drivers license and that screen they show you of what your license picture will look like REALLY shows the enormity of said head. Wow. But big head aside, I somehow have managed to date some pretty cool (a few wackos), attractive ladies over the years. My 45-15 dream is still out there in living with a girlfriend/wife for 45 days with a 15 day break/separation after the 45 days; and repeating the process. I know you're out there 45-15 girl.

I have been rewarded with good hand/eye coordination. I've mentioned it on here before but my kickball prowess got me through having to attend three elementary schools with family moves.

I've thankfully been employed for the last 34 years, even with a few major screwups early on in my career. Part of the job going in was looking for consumers who were behind on their car payments. I had a Porsche taken from a driveway one time as it was behind but it turned out it wasn't the correct Porsche. What are the odds that someone would have two Porsche vehicles? Slim, but it happened. We returned the wrong Porsche to the consumer and ended up taking the correct one a few months later. Another faux pas early in my career was when they installed an automated calling system in our office. There was no dialing involved as the system would do the dialing and direct an answering party to one of the collectors. The collector would speak to the person (most times an answering machine) and click an icon on the screen to hang up and queue the next answering party. I left a message on an answering machine, clicked on the hang up button (I thought), and made some not so flattering comments to myself about the delinquent party. It turns out the click of the hang up button did not take so my not so flattering comments made it on the consumer's answering machine. I crapped my pants when I heard the answering machine beep advising the message was complete in my headset. The automated calling system pilot was soon scrapped. In both instances, I kept my job so to the youth out there, we are all going to screw up one time or another. Get over it.

As bad as covid was, it allowed me to move to the most beautiful, simple place a few years ago. 

They say cats have nine lives, I think I've been through five so far as I've had some close calls over the years.

Lastly, I'm probably going to lose my memory in about a decade but while I fretted about it in my 20's, I've accepted it as regardless what happens (hoping for the hair loss scientists to put their focus on memory loss instead), I've been pretty darn lucky.

Trail Head

Super Bowl fish - missing the Lions and a boat plug

The calendar says Super Bowl Sunday which means fishing in some fashion in the morning leading up to what should have been a Detroit celebration of the Lions making their first Super Bowl. The former happened but the latter unfortunately was not to be this year. What a celebration it would have been.

As far as fishing, folks were ice fishing in town four weeks ago but all the ice is now gone. With no ice, I was ready to make the maiden voyage on the row boat I recently purchased. Bestsie Bay is a quarter mile down the road so to the lake I went with said boat. The boat was at the dock and I was loading it with the tackle, poles, etc... when I noticed a couple of things. One, water was slowly gathering in the back of the boat and two, I forgot that the boat needed a plug. Uggg. Another life lesson learned. With that, the maiden voyage for the row boat would have to happen another day and my kayak would be my water vessel today. 

There were three other boats with the same idea I had. The temperature was about 32 but the winds were down so it was actually pretty comfortable. I went with the bobber/sinker/night crawler combination on my two poles but no fish to report for me or others I came upon.

Lions in 2025? Hopefully so.

Trail Head

Lions Therapy Group

Me: Hi, my name is Tim and I've been a Lions fan since 1977.

Group: Hi Tim.

It's been a week since last Sunday's oh so close attempt at reaching the Super Bowl. Up 17 points at halftime, it was bound to happen, right? Right? Wrong. Come on Lions fans. Did you really think so? I heard fans all week crying about the failed 4th down attempts but if they made them, imagine how quiet that stadium of 49er fans would have been. The 4th down attempts and fake punt gambles got us there, why stop now? I had no qualms with the decision. Catch the damn ball. 

After 47 years of it, I'm pretty numb to it all. I am probably missing some but here are some highlights/lowlights over the years:

Ø  Prior to my understanding anything in life as I was only three, a Lion player had a heart attack on the field in ’71 and died.

Ø  Thanksgiving 1980. The Bears tie the game on the final play of regulation to force overtime. Bears return man Dave Williams takes the opening kick in overtime for a touchdown. Game over.

Ø  Eddie Murray’s wide right kick in the ’83 playoffs that would have won the game (Danielson throwing five interceptions didn’t help the cause).

Ø  Billy Sims knee injury in ’84. Ending his career.

Ø  Lineman Mike Utley gets paralyzed in a ’91 game.

Ø  Lineman Eric Andolsek gets ran over by a semi in ’92 while doing yardwork at his home.

Ø  1993 playoff game against the Packers. Lions up with a minute left. Brett Favre scrambles, finds a wide-open Sterling Sharpe in the end zone for the win.

Ø  The Lions roll into the playoffs at 10-6 in ’95. Lineman Lomas Brown guarantees a victory against the Eagles. Lions go down 51-7 at one point, end up losing 58-37.

Ø  Linebacker Reggie Brown suffers a spinal cord contusion in a ’97 game. Career ended.

Ø  Christmas Eve 2000, win the game to clinch the playoffs against the woeful 4-11 Bears. I was in attendance. Bears kicker Paul Edinger, who hadn’t attempted a field goal longer than 50 yards all year, kicks a 54-yarder for the win.

Ø  Which lead to the arrival of Matt Millen, a move I honestly was excited about when it happened but….

Ø  Which lead to coach Marty Mornhinweg’s infamous motorcycle ride out of practice in 2001. Respect of players lost.

Ø  Lions’ assistant coach goes through the Wendy’s drive-through with his birthday suit on in 2006.

Ø  Dan Orlovsky drops back untouched out of the endzone for a safety at Minnesota in 2008.

Ø  0-16 in 2008

Ø  Calvin Johnson catches a game winning touchdown against the Bears in 2010. Replays confirm a catch. Referees say no catch.

Ø  The Lions vs the Titans in Nashville, 2012. I was in attendance. The Lions throw a Hail Mary to the end zone, the ball is tipped into the arms of Titus Young to force overtime. Down by three in overtime with a kick to continue overtime, the Lions tried to draw the Titans offsides on a 4^th and short fake play. If no offsides, they would go on with the field goal. The Lions center ended up snapping the ball in error, the quarterback wasn’t ready for it, the play went nowhere. Game over.

Ø  Thanksgiving 2012 against the Houston Texans. The Houston running back’s elbow touched the turf after a seven-yard gain but kept running for a 81-yard touchdown. All touchdowns are automatically reviewed so the Lions coach just needed to let it all play out and the play would be called back but…he threw a challenge flag. A penalty for doing so and with the challenge flag being thrown, no review of the play. Touchdown for Houston and the Lions ended up losing the game.

Ø  The Lions up 20-0 at one point against the Packers in 2015. Packers come back. Lions still up with six seconds left. The Lions stop Aaron Rodgers on his first Hail Mary attempt but the play is called back for a Lion facemask call. The second Hail Mary goes 61 yards for a Packer touchdown. Game over.

Ø  The Lions up 17-16 against Baltimore in 2021. As time expired, Ravens kicker Justin Tucker hits an NFL record 66-yard field goal to win the game (which broke the previous record 63 yarder by Tom Dempsey against the…Detroit Lions).

Trail Head

City Council and throwing rakes

I attended my first local City Council meeting this past week. A definite difference from the downstate city council sessions that were featured on the local news many, many times. There was no yelling, people talking/yelling over one another and no one calling another Shrek. 

The reason for my attendance was two-fold. 

One, I was curious to see what transpired in the meetings and what updates were going to be made in this tiny community. Some good information received.

My second reason was a recommendation I wanted to throw out there to the council with a splash of channeling from my dad. Drivers on my street to the north seem to have no respect for keeping their speed down. Many people and their pets, including some elderly, walk the street quite a bit and the morons cruise with no respect to said walkers. It has me wanting to grab the rake out of my garage and heave it towards said speeding vehicles. Yes, my dad used to do this in my youth. A kid down the street who was guilty of speeding said to me, "your dad is crazy." I replied, "yes, and you'd better slow down or that rake will get you next time." I haven't thrown the rake yet but gave my two cents to the council which it turns out has already been brought up as a concern and they are working towards some speed limit postings. I wanted a speed bump but I'll take what I can get.

Trail Head

Squirrel High Wire Act

While taking a break from the third loop of shoveling yesterday, I encountered this pack of squirrels doing their high wire act. They all nailed it but the fourth acting as the caboose of the convoy was a little shaky getting over, but made it. The pack were running anywhere and everywhere during the day, probably freaking out in trying to find the previously planted food that is now buried a foot down.  

Trail Head

Book Review

My kindle of about a decade or so finally bit it so I dusted off my wallet and got a new one (with some fancy bells/whistles). With that, I give you some recent reads from the large melon.

The Great Pretender

Good read on the history (failed history) of psychiatry and the attempts by many psychiatrists to properly diagnose and rehabilitate mental health issues, specifically schizophrenia and bi-polar-type conditions. One psychiatrist in the early 70’s even checked himself into an asylum (as a pseudo-patient) to see if doctors could properly diagnose and treat his fake symptoms. They labeled him as a schizophrenic (as most were labeled at the time) with no hope for recovery. He wrote a paper on his experience which drew rave reviews from others and brought about change in the practice but the book’s author eventually revealed his study was flawed as he made up stories about other pseudo-patients. Some pseudo-patients in his study didn’t exist. 

Modern medicine is making strides in recent years and the days of ‘rehabilitating’ gay people are over (homosexuality was considered an illness in the 50’s) but still a long way to go on what makes our brains tick.

The Wrong Stuff

Former professional baseball pitcher Bill Lee’s autobiography. Some great stories involving what ball players do over a 162-game schedule traveling from town to town with ample time to find fun (and trouble). A few Detroit references from the legendary Lindell AC bar (that I was fortunate to visit before they tore it down sadly). The bar's owner had a cigarette lighter that looked exactly like a gun and he used to play pranks with it.  Someone switched it one night to an actual gun and a bullet shot through a wall while one of the players was looking to light up.

The Pittsburgh Cocaine Seven

The true story of the rise of cocaine in major league baseball in the early 80’s, focusing on seven individuals who were more or less baseball fans that were recreational drug users (not that it’s right) in the Pittsburgh area and were giddy to help their baseball heroes with a pinch of blow here or there which led to an ounce here or there which led to the FBI getting involved. The guy who wore the Pirate mascot uniform during games was even involved. 

The players involved got a slap on the wrist while the seven ‘fans’ ended up spending time in jail. 

Hearing the story of pitcher Rod Scurry taking apart a television in a hotel on a road trip because he thought someone was watching him in addition to advising snakes were on him is all I need to not get involved with the drug.

A couple of good stories about Dock Ellis who played about a decade earlier to this. One was a no-hitter he pitched while on LSD. Another was a time he was trying to get his team pumped as they were fearful of the Cincinnati Reds.  He advised that he was going to hit every batter he faced the next time they played. He hit the first three, the fourth walked and while trying, could not bean Johnny Bench in the head. Upon being pulled, he went to the dugout and the first thing he said was “You see how big (Bench’s) damn head is? How did I miss that head?”

Zero Fail

A good read on the history of the secret service, dating back to when Lincoln’s guard was slacking at the theater to when Trump was making his guards follow him on the golf course (and probably cheating on said golf course) week after week (after week) when he should have been working as he says, “to make America great again,” which unless crying about losing and creating violence is a great America, I think he failed. 

Some good stories of the service knowing about the extracurricular activities of our presidents involving the opposite sex. Clinton’s ‘jogs’ to the local YMCA were a little more than that. Kennedy was a player with a capital P.

Most of the first ladies were cordial except Hillary; shocker there.

The secret service seems to be no different than any other employer; a mix of shining stars who take their job seriously and those that are slackers. 

You Might Remember Me

Comedian Phil Hartman’s biography tracing back to his early days in Canada, the family moving out to California, his rise to stardom and his psycho wife who took his life. His wife was attractive but as I’ve found out over the years in some of my acquaintances, the inside beauty is much more important and thankfully those that I dated didn’t own guns (that I know of).

Confess

The autobiography of Judas Priest lead singer Rob Halford. In the late 90’s, he came out of the closet after roughly 25 years leading one of the world’s most heavy metal bands. Had he came out in the 70’s or 80’s, I honestly don’t think the public would have accepted it. Gay or not, the guy can entertain and has an incredible voice. 

Some good stories, one of which was when he was at a music festival that the band was at. Folk singer Joan Baez was there as well. Judas Priest’s song “Diamonds & Rust” was a cover of the song Baez wrote and sang, obviously a little different version. Halford was worried what Baez would say when they crossed paths. He was relieved when she was cool as hell and told Halford that her son liked their version better. 

Another story was when the band was playing on a British version of American Bandstand, Top of the Pops. In addition to Judas Priest, Donnie and Marie Osmond were also appearing; quite a lineup there.  Priest is known for their theatrics and their leather/stud outfits. Marie Osmond made a comment to someone that she was not okay with Halford’s use of a leather whip he used during performances. Halford stormed into her dressing room, told her his mind, she backtracked and the whip was used.