Not Last

eat dirt #36 B. Bartzen!!
(have to trash talk to someone)

Yep, not last but definitely not first yesterday at the Yankee Springs Time Trials in Middleville, MI.  I came in 35th out of 38 in the 50-59 Sport class and I think the guy that came in last had a flat tire. As Coach Stevenson used to say, there is always someone better out there and I found out yesterday that there are a LOT better. Some areas for this rider to improve on (read: excuses) in his second race ever:

- don’t fall down

I took a nice spill through a sandy area and ate some dirt. The lungs took a hit but there was no time for whimpering. The dirt sandwich was delicious.

- don’t try to shift the large gear while climbing

Duh!!!! Why I did it I don’t know but off went the chain (not broke; just had to stop, walk the hill and put it back)

- know the trail

I had only ridden the trail once before yesterday so I forgot when the hills of hell came into play; and there were some hills.

- stop day dreaming

The ‘ADD’ in me will unfortunately always curtail my performance I think as it was such a nice day to ride and the park had so many beautiful hills, I found myself in some deep thoughts during those moments when I wasn’t getting passed by a pack of 20-somethings. Snap out of it!!!!

- find out what the 70-somethings are eating

Three guys in the 70-79 class beat my time so I need to pick their brains.

view coming off the starting line

Excuses aside, the event was great. They had 777 riders and were so well organized. The minutes leading up to the race are almost as exciting as the race itself. You are assigned a riding number with all Sport riders due to take off at noon; pro riders at 9:30 AM (most of the pictures below are the pros). They herd the riders (feel like cattle) into the starting line staging area by number, similar to the maze you go through at the bank. I was mixed in with not just the 50-59 riders; it was all age groups. Every 20-30 seconds or so a rider is announced and off that person goes. The adrenaline was going for me as my start approached. I was next and……then they announced they were ahead of time and to hold off for a bit so they could catch up. First in line but waiting. Boo. The trail overall was in good shape. I enjoyed the people that planted themselves at various points within the trail cheering you on. One group had a cowbell and I had to say it while going by.......“need more cowbell!!!” And more cowbell I received.

As the recent book I read, "The Subtle Art of not giving a fuck" taught me, there a only a certain amount of things that you should give a fuck about and while winning would be cool, don't get me wrong it would be the shit, the mountain bike addicted atmosphere is just fine with me and there is only one way for this slow rider to go but up.

Look out Traverse City as I'll see you in two weeks for race number two and 34th place!

Trail Head out.

yours truly at the finish line

starting line

I am getting ready to take off here after these three - exciting!!!

finish line

the bicycle herding area prior to launch

Riding Time - Happy Anniversary

While I would normally preface this entry with a "Spring is here and it's time to ride" reference and a formal Thursday riding schedule like previous years, however, I haven't stopped riding since last year so...."Spring is here, let's ride some more!!!"

new look for the ride this year - I wanna see it
painted, painted, painted, painted black...

A new niche to the riding this year as I recently completed my training in becoming a mountain bike patroller; or as my nephew calls them, “narcs.” Easy does it there urban rider Jackson.  If you are a responsible rider, we won’t have any problems.  The way I see it, I’m out there 3-4 times a week at various trails in the area anyway, I might as well help the cause assisting with first aid (certified in first aid/CPR), trail maps, spare tire tubes, water/energy bars, minor repairs along with helping hikers, horse riders and bicycle riders co-exist so we can all enjoy the experience. I’ve attached a link on the history of the patroller world.

www.imba.com/nmbp/history

Another new experience for me this year, mountain bike racing. I signed up for four races and have no idea what to expect. Yes, I put the miles in but my pace is as casual as casual can be with my music player helping me along via the ear buds. I don’t think they’ll let me bring the music so hopefully I have a good song to hum along to during the race and not some Bieber tune that was playing at the gas station pump 20 minutes before I got to the race. While I haven’t hit the big 5-0 yet, the racing world considers year of birth so I’m 50 in their eyes. I’d rather be lumped in with the 50-somethings versus the 40-somethings so that is a positive. I’ll take any advantage I can get. My first race is this upcoming Sunday at Yankee Springs Recreation Area in Middleville, MI. I’m expecting to hear “On your left!!!!” quite a bit but looking forward to it.

No formal Thursday riding schedule for the tour this year but for those looking to ride, I’ll be out there most Tuesdays and Thursdays after work (6’ish) and weekend mornings (10’ish).  If you want to ride, click the email link on the profile page here and drop me a line.

A happy 10th anniversary to this blog. What a long, strange trip it’s been; but quite fun! Thanks for reading.

Trail Head

MCMBA patrol group (newbie Tim in back in blue)

patroller classroom training (we take this serious)

patroller role play/trail training

Fear the 11th Floor - Black Tuesday is near

hell on earth

Yep, the day is coming. Tax day!!! I wouldn’t even acknowledge the day as OCD Tim(my) gets them done as soon as humanly possible once those W-2’s are received. I even went through a new tax prep site (sorry, no shout outs for said site) this year that allows the normal 1040 with deductions for a cost of….nothing! The site even screen scraped my W-2 PDF (and probably passed my information to someone overseas) so it was just click, click, click and waaa-laaa, taxes done. I don’t know what we’ll do if we ever have to go back to manually completing this process; and yes, another piece to the puzzle of the world evolving to the premise of the movie, Idiocracy (a world of idiots). All we need to do is click, click, click….

The topic leads us to a dilemma I have at my work place. We moved to a new location last fall and share the new building with the…..IRS. On the 11th floor is the tax assistance/audit/examination (scary word)/collection areas. I am on the 16th floor so I get to see individuals on a routine basis heading up to 11, usually with a stack of papers in no particular order and an “oh fuck” look on their face. I peeked out the elevator today on 11 and glanced into the office where the assistance was taking place. If you can imagine your worst ever Secretary of State visit, multiply it by 10. It did not look like a place I wanted to be. In speaking to one of the employees in the elevator, it is only going to get worse leading up to Tuesday. 

I may be working from home on Tuesday.
Trail Head out

Skip

A trip in the way back machine today for the tour with a shout out to boot from said trip. The machine takes us back to 1980 when this writer was playing for the mighty Highland Scots in 7th grade basketball. The faces in the picture should look familiar as I still hang with three of the 12-13 year olds shown. The coach for said team, Mike “Skip” S., was voted AP Class A girls basketball Coach of the Year for 2017.

http://highschoolsports.mlive.com/news/article/-5328049265398742073/ap-class-a-girls-basketball-all-state-team-announced/

http://www.detroitnews.com/story/sports/high-school/2017/04/03/detroit-news-area-girls-basketball-team/100006016/

I laugh at how the press references him as “Skip” as Jim C. (aka “Champ”) I believe gave him the nickname in high school after mirroring the name of the former host of “Real People.” A great show that was; can’t believe it hasn’t made a return in reruns.

Here nor there, he was my favorite coach in any sport and was fortunate enough to have him as my coach again my sophomore year at Milford. He wasn’t a shouter, was incredibly patient and made the game fun. 

He helped me my junior year at Milford as well as I was the object of the varsity coach’s wrath when something went wrong in a game. One instance of said fury didn’t even involve a game situation. We are in Brighton for a game, waiting for what seemed like forever for the coach to come give us our pre-game pep talk. Idiot Tim, with a toothpick in his mouth, speaking when he should have used his internal voice, uttered “Where’s Don?” Little did I know Don was right behind me and calling your coach by his first name was a no-no. A got a nice chewing out with a nice slam against a locker to boot but it was all deserved as I was out of line. I was expecting to sit the entire game but Skip calmed the coach down and later told me most of the coach’s fury had been building up from other factors. After checking that I didn’t crap my drawers after the chewing out and the trembling subsided, I still started, we won the game and to this day, every time I see Skip in public, the first words out of his mouth are “Hey Timmy, where’s Don?” and we both laugh. 

Thanks Skip and congratuations.

Trail Head

Man Card Check - almost lost mine

The man card. Every man acquires one at birth but certain actions can revoke the privileges of said card. Such as:

• selfies

This is immediate revocation. Exceptions are if the man is 10,000 feet above sea level on a ski hill, has just caught a record fish or the Swedish bikini team is in the background at the hotel pool (said bikini team had better be in the picture).

via Strava; this man has no penis and apparently likes taking pictures of himself

• fruit in beer

This can also be lumped in with any light beer (why bother?) or the three foot fruit drinks at the ball game. It just exudes "wuss" (not a word).

• can't change a tire

I haven't had to take the re-test on this subject in awhile; knock on wood. I am guessing its been about 30 years since my last tire change. My main obstacle these days would be not having my reader glasses available to read the manual. 

• don't open a car door for a woman

Such a simple task fellas but I see more than enough not doing it. Put her on a pedestal.

• Tiffany comes up on your music player shuffle

Yes, I have a friend, who shall be nameless, have it in there at one time. He claims his old female roommate loaded it on there. His appeal is still under investigation.

• can't wire a stereo/tv/dvd

This leads us to my story. One thing in college you get good at besides rationalizing is wiring electronics as you are moving so damn much. The process is pretty simple; match the colors and put the 'in' cord in the 'in' hole and the 'out' in the 'out' hole. So my mom recently purchased a sound bar for her television and asked me to help install it. No worries I thought. Everything was plugged in properly according to the manual, we went step by step in synchronizing the sound bar to the subwoofer, the lights flashed on and off as they were supposed to and....nothing. I checked the connections again, re-synch....nothing. I was stumped. My man card was crumbling in my wallet. I would not be denied, however. It must have been the meal (which was delicious, as always) but the light bulb finally went off after dinner. Logic would think that the sound bar would be connected through the television but the cable box had the same input hole; we plugged it there and bingo!!!!

Man Card on.

Trail Head

FINALLY got that sound bar to work

Ear For Music

If friend Slick ever recommends a band to see, go see that band.  Last year it was Samantha Fish; last night it was Albert Cummings and there was no disappointment. Close your eyes and it was Stevie Ray Vaughn making that guitar cry. And that was Jim crying after learning that Raj locked Jim’s keys in his van……..”Thank you for calling AAA, how may we assist you today? Is that you Jim? Locked out again? We’ll be right there” All kidding aside, you can’t blame Jimmy “Keys” for this one and the fellas eventually got back in the van so all was well. I left after the first set as it was past this early riser’s bedtime but the guys tell me the second set was outstanding (of course it was better than the first; my luck, as always).     

Happy 51st music aficionado Slick. Keep up the recommendations.

Trail Head

St. Croix - Pedal, Pool, Pub, repeat

To quote friend J. on her winter getaway to a warmer climate earlier this month, "It doesn't suck here, just sayin'." No, it doesn't suck in St. Croix. Highs around 82 and lows in the 70's each day; just what the doctor ordered for this pale rider. This is one laid back island in that they don't bother with daylight savings time and pennies, nickles and dimes are not welcome at the local establishments. I am not kidding in that every bill was rounded up or down accordingly; and I was just fine with that as I usually arrive home from these trips with enough change to launder a college student for a year. Besides the warm weather, the intent was to pedal, both dirt and pavement. The mountain bike trails are in their infant stages but have a bright future. Bike shop owner Aaron arranged a ride Sunday morning with him, myself and two others, Wendy and Don. Aaron and Wendy are co-trail creators with each section of the trail named after a Bob Marley reference. Wendy has been an island resident since '74 and was celebrating her 65th birthday on Sunday. She is about five feet tall and maybe 90 pounds but don't let her age or small frame deter you. The girl can ride! A few times she was asking if I wanted to pass but little did she know I was trying everything in my power to not let my breakfast fly for all to see. "No, I'm good Wendy." And no, I did not lose my cookies on that first day. It was close though as I had one "vurp" (vomit burp).  For a Michigan trail comparison, I would say St. Croix right now is in Proud Lake shape but with potential to be like Pontiac Lake, Island Lake or Brighton. They just need more riders and have no doubt that Aaron and Wendy will get them there.
I left the dirt for pavement on Monday with a pedal to the east side of the island; on East End Rd. Some complex road names as I was on Northside Rd. the day before; on the north side of the island. Even so, I still got turned around a few times. You get to see more when you are lost so I was maximizing my tourist dollar; and got to see the projects of St. Croix.
While I hit a few heart attack hill climbs, the locals advised of the mother of all hills, The Beast; a hill that tops them all. I didn't partake in said Beast but attached a few videos from the Ironman Triathlon that involves it. So just to be straight, after swimming however many miles and running a marathon, you need to climb this vertical hill from hell. Show me the tow rope please.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pd_c5obzMcI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bp1x7N2Y7Mo&spfreload=5

Post pedal involved the hotel pool and thankfully I didn't reproduce my Brazil burn this year. That was some serious skin loss on that trip. My hotel was not a five star but had a nice view of the bay and served its purpose quite well.

The pubs in Christiansted had everything I needed except for one minor omission. What does a guy need to get a chicken dinner in this town? The food was delicious but I was craving some bird. For how many roosters that are roaming town (not an exaggeration; see the last batch of pictures below), you would think a chicken emporium would be greeting you upon arriving in town. 

In the "it's a small world" file, I sat down for lunch Tuesday and had a Commerce resident on one side and a retired WJR employee on the other.  

One would think that the law of averages would bring about one bad local apple in my ventures on the island but whether it was someone I pedaled by giving a simple fist to the heart salute or a pleasant "hello" greeting, EVERYONE on this island could not have been nicer.

It doesn't suck here, just sayin'.

Trail Head

Northside Rd.

old dairy farm off the mountain bike trail

some big climbs but worth it for the view - and the descent

East End Rd.

East End Rd.

East End Rd.

East End Rd. - Buck Island in distance

East End Rd.

East End Rd.

big fu**ing dish

not sure the St. Croix translation for 'slob' but made me laugh

 

Tavern 1844 - cool pub

Tim Duncan shrine 

tunnel of trees were a treat

 

been over a 100 years since one but preparation is everything

my hotel room balcony view 

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Randy the Rooster

yep, more rooster

need more rooster

rooster in the pub