Hola. That and “gracias” were about all I had for my bilingual efforts in a trip I took to Mexico with friends in celebration of our 40 (some 39) years on earth this past week. The location was in the Riviera Maya corridor, just about an hour south of Cancun on the Caribbean Sea. We stayed at the Barcelo Tropical Beach resort, a first class place from top to bottom.Getting to the resort was quite an interesting experience. I flew down with Rob and Wendy (others flew earlier in the day) and after going through many lines to show passports and declare goods, it was time to find our travel
agency’s transportation company. We walked into an area where there must have been 200 Mexican fellas all with a mission to transport any tourist they could find. We stayed focused and found the company we were set up with. The vans used to transport people can normally hold 10 people without a problem but unfortunately we had a 300+ pound guy in attendance with us. Poor Wendy had about a six inch seat area for a portion of the ride. The road from the airport to our resort looked a war zone with beat up shacks throughout. I don’t think anybody has car insurance down there because every car seemed to have some kind of ding on it. They had to put speed bumps at points on the road because folks were driving so crazy. Rob and I did pass the time with an intense game of Slug Bug (see a VW bug, call it out, and slug you
r friend). Our limited English driver was getting a good chuckle from the game and was even helping us point them out near the end. With the views on this road, I was pretty curious to see what our resort was going to be like. We turned into the resort and it was Utopia once we passed the entrance gate.At check in, I came upon what I believe could have been my match for life, a Mexican woman working at the front desk named Jitka. Too bad she was taken because she had an aura about her. The accent, smile, and the blue eyes didn’t hurt. We all pretty much spent the first night hooking up with the others and getting acclimated to this extremely large resort.
Day two had a nice mix of beach and pool time. We pulled out the snorkeling gear at the beach and I must say my previous attempts about 20 years ago to breathe through the snorkel tube were not very successful. I was pessimistic at my chances to conquer this activity. After hyperventilating a few times early on and getting some good pointers from the others, the light bulb finally went off on how to do it and I’m happy to report I absolutely love this snorkeling thing. The array of fish colors and the clear water were incredible. The undertow wa
s making me a “frady cat” so I only went out so far. Eric and Rob were the thrill seekers in the deep areas. After chilling on the beach after the snorkeling, the tequila train started to get going a bit. With the resort being all inclusive, it is quite scary the kind of damage you could do there. If I were to go back again, I’d bring a large mug because the resort gives you beer/cocktails/soda pop in roughly six ounce glasses and if you are chilling on the beach or pool, a large container gives you more time to admire the scenery, good and bad. What I mean by good and bad is there were all shapes and sizes putting on the bathing suits. There were some ooh la la sightings and there were some that should have been sent back to their rooms to cover the bogue-ness (not a word) that was spilling from their outfits.The third day started with a trip to Akumal which is known for its snorkeling areas and we were not let down. The tide was pretty far out there so you could get out pretty deep without worrying about the current taking you out. I started out towards the coral reef areas which had some beautiful fish sightings. Blue fish, yellow fish, purple
fish, round fish, sandy fish, and one large fish that scared the dickens out of me because he was all by himself and I figured he was all by himself for a reason. I gave him his space. I ventured a little away from the reef areas and found what we came for, the swimming turtles. LARGE turtles without a care in the world swimming right next to you. One came up for air and I could have sworn Rob could have kissed it if he wanted to. Their heads were about the size of a small football. Right around where the turtles were hanging, a school of fish made an appearance. I’m not talking about 10 or 20 fish. I’m talking about hundreds of 8-9 inch fish clustered together. You could swim right up to this mass of fish and they pretty much just stayed there. Amazing. After snorkeling it was back to the resort for some pool time. Hammock time/Tim time for me. The hammocks had a shade cover above them so you could get a little siesta in, sip a few margaritas, and admire the scenery. Prior to dinner the fellas congregated so we could go over the fishing plan for the next day and also sip some tequila. We bought a bottle of some local tequila from the resort store. The storekeeper said it was a good brand from the few words of his I could un
derstand. It was good tequila. Smooth and no head thumping the next morning. It was so good that our gathering evolved into our version of stupid human tricks (see can balancing pictures). The entire group had dinner together at the Santa Fe steakhouse restaurant within the resort (I had chicken, surprise). The meal was great, as was most of the food at the resort. After dinner, a majority of us went back to one of the rooms to celebrate some more. Laura and Laura got hold of my Playboy and just couldn’t put it down. The silliness really got going when we had about a five minute dialogue where five of us were talking (or attempting to talk) Spanish. Wendy fell off the bed during her giggles. As Greg was saying during this time, Siiiiii!!!!!!
The fourth day didn’t start out too well for me. Al, Eric, Greg, Rob, and I went on a chartered fishing boat at the crack of dawn. I felt good in the morning but once that boat hit some waves, it was all over for me. The all inclusive meals that hadn’t been completed digested were now in the Caribbean Sea and I was a pile of sweat. Each bottled water that went down after that eventually came up some thirty minutes later. I mixed up the outgoing volume a bit with some fruit punch towards the end. Nice. We picked numbers for fishing and Rob was lucky number one with Al number two. I was number three but unfortunately only two fish were hit during the ride. Rob caught a nice Barracuda and Al caught a Mahi-Mahi, the real green fish. I was fine once I stepped back on land and was back on the margarita train in no time and in my hammock loving life. The group had dinner at the Capri Italian restaurant, which again was great. I had a calzone and took some flack for also ordering from the kid’s menu (chicken again). I’m on vacation so too bad!! After some post dinner cocktails (and more tequila), I took a stroll to the auditorium/theatre for a glance at the Miss Barcelo contest. There was no major debauchery to report, just some tourists in bathing suits having to do various stunts with their significant others. I left shortly thereafter so I didn’t see who got the crown. Laura O. and Wendy, however, charged the stage after the contest and were strutting their stuff pretty well from the pictures I saw.
As mentioned, the resort was first class. I’m not sure if the employees liked having all these darn U.S. citizens taking over the place but you wouldn’t know it. They would always pass you with a “hola” reply and a smile. The service was always prompt and courteous. I even put a broken Spanish note in my “all inclusive” refrigerator that I wanted more cervaza (beer) and less soda pop the next time they stocked them. The next time I checked my fridge, it was loaded. Gracias.
The fifth day was travel time and my experience was something very close to the movie, Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. I checked in at the airport and the ticket counter person asked if I wanted to avoid having to go through Chicago from Dallas. Who wouldn’t? I was all set, right? Not quite. The flight out o
f Cancun was about an hour late leaving so I got into Dallas with about 35 minutes until my connecting flight. I also found out during this time that the flight still went through Chicago so the Cancun ticket guy must have been a rookie. In 35 minutes, I had to go through the passport line, the customs line, recheck my bag, and take the Skylink transit system to another terminal. I was hoping for a short passport line but nice try. It moved pretty well but the clock was ticking so it was time to beg for cuts. Then it was a sprint to the bag area so I could claim nothing to the customs people and have my bag rechecked. I found bag number one with no problem but bag number two was nowhere to be seen. Do I leave bag number two? Tick tock, tick tock. After talking to the bag person, I stumbled upon bag number two and the sprint was on to customs and have the bags rechecked. That went smooth and I was feeling pretty confident that I just had to find the transit system to take me to my terminal but little did I know I had to go through the security check again. I begged for cuts again, got through there and sprinted to the transit system. I got to my terminal and took a glance at my flight on the board. The gate had been changed (ahhhh!!!!) but luckily it was in the same terminal. I sprinted to 
the gate with about two minutes to spare and was incredibly thirsty. There was a bar directly across from the gate so I ordered a cold one, chugged it in about thirty seconds and ran to the gate. What an experience. Thankfully we didn’t change planes in Chicago because I had enough airport exercise for the day. I safely landed in Detroit but only one of my bags made it (I’m happy to report American Airlines called the next morning and had my bag and were delivering it that day). What a day.That is all mi amigos.
Rastro Cabeza
